Baptism is one of the most significant moments in a Christian’s life, and for me, that moment came on March 30th, 2024, when I was baptized into the Catholic Church. The experience was deeply transformative—not only in the physical sense of being washed clean by water but in the spiritual sense of being united with Christ in His death and resurrection.

For decades, I thought I was already living the full-time Christian life. I believed in Jesus. I loved Him. I prayed, worshipped, and sought to live morally. I even thought I was walking in step with God. And while all of that was sincere, I now see clearly that I was missing something massive.

I grew up being taught that I could be baptized when I felt ready to "profess my faith." But by the time I reached my teenage years, the moment had passed. I didn’t understand the urgency, the significance, or the spiritual necessity of baptism. And as time went on, I simply moved forward with my life—completely unaware of the gap in my spiritual foundation.

Looking back, I now realize how deeply unfortunate it was to go four decades without water baptism. I lived most of my life thinking I had the full Christian experience, when in reality, I was walking without one of the most essential Sacraments Jesus gave us. The spiritual consequences of this became clear only after I was baptized. I had no idea how much grace, protection, and spiritual authority I had been living without.

What I didn’t understand then is that baptism isn’t just a public declaration of faith. It isn’t just symbolic. It is a supernatural act instituted by Christ Himself. It is a sacrament of liberation, cleansing, and rebirth, and one of its primary spiritual effects is deliverance from the power of sin and the devil. It is the moment when we die with Christ and rise with Him into new life. It washes away original sin, incorporates us into the Body of Christ, and seals us with the identity of beloved sons and daughters of God. It changes everything.

Baptism delivers us from evil. In baptism, we are not only cleansed—we are claimed. We are delivered from the power of darkness and transferred into the Kingdom of God’s beloved Son (Colossians 1:13). The Catechism teaches that “Baptism delivers us from the dominion of sin and the devil” (CCC 1237). This is why the rite of baptism includes prayers of exorcism—because something real and spiritual is taking place. The chains of the enemy are broken. The mark of Christ is sealed. And the baptized soul is not only renewed but spiritually protected under the authority of Heaven.

"Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? We were buried therefore with Him by baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life" (Romans 6:3-4).

That newness of life was something I thought I already had. But what I was living was only a shadow of what Jesus intended for me. After my baptism, the veil had been lifted. I began to understand spiritual truths in a deeper way. I experienced a new level of freedom, clarity, and communion with the Lord. Jesus wasn’t just visiting me—He was dwelling in me in a way I had never known before.

Perhaps the most sobering part of my story is this: I didn’t know what I was missing. I lived for decades assuming I was fine. That is why I believe this message is so important. There are many sincere Christians walking around with partial formation, never having received the gift and grace of baptism. Not because they are rebellious, but because they don’t know what they don’t know.

And to the parents reading this: please do not delay your children’s baptism. Baptism is not something we wait to do when our children "understand." It is something we do precisely because we understand what it is. It is God's covenant, not ours. It is His grace, not our emotional decision. By baptizing our children early, we are covering them with the spiritual protection and identity that they were created to walk in. Let them grow up knowing they are sealed, claimed, and commissioned by Christ from the beginning.

To anyone who has delayed baptism or is unsure about it—I encourage you to seek the Lord and study what Scripture and the Church teach about this Sacrament. Do not wait until you "feel ready." Baptism is not about your readiness; it’s about God’s readiness to receive you fully. And when you take that step, everything changes.

Baptism is not just serious—it is essential. It is not just symbolic—it is sacramental. And it is not just a ritual—it is your rebirth.

And one year after my baptism, the reality of that transformation is clearer than ever. This is what I wrote on the anniversary of that day:

March 30, 2024

One year ago today, I was baptized, confirmed, and received the Eucharist for the very first time.

This was after attending both my Protestant church and weekly Mass for six years—from 2018 to 2024. Yes, you read that right. I sat through hundreds of Masses, heart wide open, soul longing, and spirit discerning.

As a 41-year-old woman who had lived four decades without the Sacraments, I now understand why it took so long: The enemy had a multigenerational grip on me. And he was holding on tight.

In fact, his grip was so strong that he had convinced me to be anti-Catholic—especially against the Eucharist. He had twisted truth just enough to make me believe that the bread and wine were only symbolic. And I bought it.

Why? Because he knew that the moment I received the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ, he would lose his grip on me forever. The Eucharist is not just a sacred meal—it is the weapon of our freedom. The devil knew he could keep me bound in partial truth as long as I stayed away from the Real Presence.

But God.
God never stopped pursuing me.
Even in my resistance, even in my confusion, even while I sat on the fence—He kept calling.
Calling me deeper.
Calling me home.

And last year, on this exact day, I said yes.
I walked down the aisle not just into a church, but into the arms of my Bridegroom.
I was baptized. I was confirmed. I received the Eucharist. I became fully His.

Was I mourning the lost years? Yes.
Four decades without the Sacraments is a wound I can’t pretend didn’t ache.
But I no longer carry blame—
Not for myself. Not for others. I place the blame where it belongs: on the enemy of souls.

And I rejoice, because what the enemy tried to keep from me, God restored in full.
I am living proof that strongholds can be broken. That truth wins. That grace prevails.
I am no longer bound. I am free.
And I am His.

Whether you are still discerning, have delayed your next step, or were never taught the seriousness of baptism—know this: the longer you wait, the more the enemy wins. But Jesus is calling. Don’t stay in partial truth. Don’t wait for perfect understanding. Come and be made new. Come and be filled. Come home.

Thank you for reading my heart on paper.

I love you.

~Farmer Ashley